Thursday, February 5, 2009

The next fifteen minutes

The second book that I am reading might be called "PhD Dissertations for Dummies", but it isn't. It could be considered depressing by some readers. Look, I know that writing a dissertation will be a lot of work. I'm not afraid of work. I know that parts of it will be boring. I had other long-lasting boring assignments. I know that there will be mishaps. I have had accidents blow up in the middle of my most thought-out plans. Can't someone tell me how rewarding it will all be when it is done? Can't some adviser paint the picture of how accomplished I will feel at the end? A little ray of sunshine anywhere for the writer of a dissertation?

When I speak with other PhD successes, I feel as if they are laughing at me. The ones who don't laugh are those who completed their degree like I am -- older students, working full-time, with a family, who really dig their teeth into the project and don't let go. I need to listen to them more.

I like the idea of a timeline, a GANTT chart of all the parts leading up to the completion of the disseration. It gives an air of predictability to this process -- a false sense that I am in control, when in fact I'm not. Last fall, if everything had gone well, I could have conducted four (not 4 --need to practice my APA formating) months of my research. But everything did not go well and that is not just part of my dissertation, that is indeed part of life. Nay, it is life. Isn't it how we react to all of what doesn't go well that which truly makes the difference?

Two years ago, I was introduced to a young and successful politician who explained to me that he was "A.B.D." - All But Dissertation. To me, that is the absolute worst state. It would feel as if I had either been left at the altar on my wedding day, or I decided to stand up to my fiance' on our wedding day -- totally incomplete. No, I'll be finishing this one way or another. And I think that I will choose to enjoy the process.

Our next assignment is to write our Concept Paper for next week. My project is pretty clear and the instructor gave me unofficial blessings on it. I would like for my instructor to serve as my dissertation chair if he has time. His attention to detail will be most helpful for me. We have successfully worked on another smaller project and seem to have compatible styles.

Nothing that I have read yet has recommended a small project with your potential dissertation committee chair. The small project that we worked on together gave me an idea of how it would be to work alongside him and I think that I can do that successfully. I have suggested this to everyone else in our group who is moving along together in this venture.

That's another feature that I don't see promoted -- a cohort group moving together towards their terminal degree. Especially as working adults, it seems to be of great assistance to encourage one another. At different times, one or the other of us threaten to quit, but another one of us won't allow it and prod each other along the path towards our PhD.

Writing for fifteen minutes a day and organizing my thoughts is not so bad. I think that I'm going to enjoy this blog.

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